We're like a lot better than the average bears
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
