I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
