i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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