I'd wear matching sweaters with you
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
