but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i think my cat just said my name.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
