Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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