i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
