well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Alive.
So much puke
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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