Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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