the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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