the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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