Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
