There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
