Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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