I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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