just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
