hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize