Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
