Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
