3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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