I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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