okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
