She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
