We won't sleep together?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Randomize
