ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
