ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
ok first of all what the fuck
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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