scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
