I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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