Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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