This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
