respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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