What a fucking waste of an outfit
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
