I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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