You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
