Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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