im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
