ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
