There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
