What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
