Me too!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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