if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
