So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
