she was so not down for the gang bang
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
