Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize