i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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