Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Damn victory sex feels great
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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