a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
