Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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