idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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