If i come over, it means nothing
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize