Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize