This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
