yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
