u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
