On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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