chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
