i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize
