I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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