I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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