I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
