Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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