she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
