jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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