Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
